I’m not good with experiencing emotions. It took me years to figure out the calm feeling that I feel most comfortable with… I call it “at peace with X”.

I despise arguing, way more than most people even. Don’t get me wrong, I love a healthy debate- I just “can’t handle” arguing banter. I don’t know how to deal with it, and I don’t really care to.

I’m not even great at being excited. When I feel too “up”, I usually try to humble myself in some way by looking at possible problems.

Perhaps I should let myself feel the emotions instead of influencing my environment to turn them off.

I don’t know.